Stupid fish...
There are too many boys...and they're all...well boys. They've got that faulty chromosome that makes them assholes...or at least assholic. I really hope that they're different in other countries...that this faulty chromosome was cultured enough to minimize the assholicity. If not, I'm giving up. Screw it.
There have been two fairly flirty conversations with boys that makes up that whole first step thing. The first was actually pretty good...There were just little--ok big--warning signs for me saying...uh NOT HIM! Those signs were just screaming at me the next day when the next conversation happened with the guy who'd been giving me "the eye" in my 9am class. Besides these two I've had three other chats with random guys that weren't as flirty, but still...there are no good men out there. Well, by these odds anyways.
So I've gone fishing...I made the decision to get back in there. I've now made the decision to get the hell out! No more! I can't take the panic attacks...I can stand the idea of a makeout session, but the mere notion of a relationship freaks me out. Any kind of working at intimacy makes me feel lathargic and just that I want to go to my own big empty bed alone. No more fishing.
I just can't fathom voluntarily giving up my freedom. I like the thought of being able to travel the world without missing anything/anyone. I like the alone time...I can't stand any people long enough to live with them 24/7 especially not one with that chromosome. I'm not saying it'll never happen...or even that I'll work to make sure it'll not happen. I'm just comfortable with thinking that it wont...that good ole detachment from reality has never steered me wrong before. "I wont think about that now...I'll think about it tomorrow."
Slackin on school...
So yeah, I've gotten pretty lazy on school already. Well, at least concerning the gen eds. So ridiculous...so a waste of my time. I'm focusing on my whole whopping two theatre classes, but the gen eds are just interrupting my good sleep. The nerve.
I can't wait for October, because it is a good month, but that also means midterms and quite a bit of catching up. These crazy classes start making you do big things in October, tryin to ruin it. Stupid tests. I'm just not in the mood for it...I know that sounds bad, but I need a break from school...I need to look into those study abroad programs...maybe I wouldn't be so sick of it if I was in a different country...
Other than slackin...
There's been work...which is ok, but so damn monotonous. I live for the weekends...and December...come on December...Just trying not to think about it all too much. I really better be getting away this summer.
We took a short vacation to Vegas this past weekend, so it makes it a short week which is so much more bearable. Liking that...Basically I babysat my cousins. We went to Circus Circus and played in the arcades at the Sahara...I won like four stuffed animals and a big inflatable dolphin in the carnival games at Circus Circus and at the arcade I got enough tickets to get handcuffs. Heh heh...Wahoo.