Today downright sucked by most standards. Except I did color my hair and I'm not unhappy about it so that's a plus. Also I found a song that fits my X-Men related day dreams fairly well and that always helps.
Recounting what I will in this entry though will make my day a lot better because the memory of the boy I will tell you about never ceases to brighten my day.
First though, about my last entry, no I don�t talk to those people who stabbed me in the back. I was "polite" to them when necessary but I have this habit of holding the longest grudges known to humankind so it�s not likely I�ll ever talk to those wankers (as Adri so nicely put it) again. Actually the story of those wankers is about as long as the whole Nameless story and it's really sad that people actually do that kind of stuff but ah well. It was a "learning" experience right kids? I think we all grew from Alli getting screwed over by what she thought were her best friends. What? I'm not bitter. I swear.
Seriously though, I meant what I said, I have no regrets about any of it. I like to think I'm a much better judge of character now. Also that's why I�m always so ready to give advice; I�ve known a lot of horrid people in my time and I'd prefer my friends not to have to come in contact with any of the like.
However, to contrast that story I�m going to end this little trip down memory lane in a better light. I�m going to end it with the story of Trevor, the only guy I�ve ever known who I could actually picture myself with for the rest of my life.
The first time I saw him was early summer when I was working at Disneyland. I had been walking and talking with one of my leads (supervisors) and we spotted another lead by the Matterhorn and Trevor was with her. I remember feeling instantly attracted to him and having this need to talk to him, which I�d never felt before--well, for any real live person (celebrities don't count). He never said a word as the leads talked and I didn�t get a chance to talk to him and I remember regretting it the rest of the night but I figured I did have all summer.
I didn�t see him again for a while, not until my first shift in Tomorrowland. I was really pissed off that day because someone had moved my car and when I didn�t see it I had freaked out and thought it had been stolen. I did find it down the lane but I was still pretty upset because I thought it was some prank or something. I stormed backstage and saw my friend Amy and there Trevor stood in the locker. Amy had seen that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong and in true Alli-fashion I ranted and raved about what had happened and said many a crazy thing I�m sure. I noticed he just stood there with this sort of surprised look on his face still not saying anything. I had to leave to start my shift right away and by the time I got backstage again his shift had ended and I had lost yet another chance to talk to him.
Finally, it was near the end of the summer and my last shift in Tomorrowland (actually, I rarely had a shift there but not the point...). I got backstage and found out I was going to be doing trash, which as gross as it sounds was actually my favorite thing to do because once you had dumped trash you had a lot of time to do whatever you wanted--provided your supervisors didn�t notice.
Trevor turned out to be my trash partner and I remember getting this giddy feeling in my stomach. Then I felt kinda guilty because I was technically already dating this other guy at Disneyland but Trevor had this way of making me forget that any other guy even existed when he was around.
One of the first things I said to him was an apology for how crazy I acted the last time I saw him. I swore to him I wasn�t usually that much of a freak. He said it was nothing that he had just thought I was very funny. It was so incredibly easy to talk to him, everything just flowed. He is still the greatest listener I've ever met male or female. We became very fast friends. In fact that day we did trash in a very unusual way.
Usually when you do trash one person takes one side of the area and the other person takes the other. That day we did it together. We got a really good pattern down and had it done in no time all the while just talking about whatever. We spent the whole day, all 8 hours of my shift (he had already been there two hours before me but he extended two hours so he could stay with me for the rest of my shift), together talking and joking around and having a great time. He was an incredible guy, one I never would�ve thought could�ve existed.
The only time we parted was on our last dump when I went to get a few trash cans that were getting too full too fast. While I was getting one this kid kept giving me a hard time and being that I was a Disneyland cast member I had to smile and nod and ignore the little bastard. When I got backstage I told Trevor about it and he actually went back to the area to look for him to tell him off. He never found him but damn was it a sweet gesture.
When the shift was over we walked through the park together, clocked out and sat side by side on the tram to the parking lot. We got off at the same stop but we just couldn�t go our separate ways. We just stood there in the parking lot talking. Tram after tram went by and we kept on talking. Eventually we gave up and just sat down on the bench to continue our conversation.
It was on this bench that the conversation finally turned toward relationships. We both agreed that now was not the time to think about getting serious with anyone. (This was hardly a year after the whole Nameless incident and I was still extremely wary of all relationships). He said he felt like he didn't have enough time to give a girl what she deserved because he had a soccer scholarship to the school he went to somewhere else in California. He said that he would love to just talk to a girl and really get to know her well and become good friends and when the time was right it would happen. He gave me a funny look when he said this and I said it sounded like the perfect plan. It's true, that sounded like the best idea to me, still does.
Finally after over two hours we went our separate ways. He told me he was working in New Orleans early the next day and I told him that I was working early too but they didn�t know where they were going to put me. He made me promise to come and find him in New Orleans and I said I would.
The next day they assigned me to the worst possible area. Esplanade. It�s the area in front of Disneyland, between it and DCA (California Adventure park). It�s hot and horrid and I couldn�t go look for him on breaks because New Orleans is too far and I wouldn�t have enough time. By the time my shift was over he was already gone and of course it just had to be his last day.
I never saw him again. I still ask my friends who work there to keep an eye out for him. I hope one day I�ll see him again, I still get the same feeling in my stomach that he gave me that wonderful day when I remember it. I�ve never felt that feeling with anybody else before. So there�s hope for me yet.
Well, that was a good time warp, but I've had better. I'll work on making my present more interesting from now on I swear. Damn you present...