It�s always amusing what a little sleep deprivation can do to my brain. I was sitting at the longest red light in history staring mindlessly at this big statue of a lumberjack outside some hardware store that�s been there since before I can remember.
Then it hit me, I should make a movie about a guy who�s really short and scrawny and wants to be a lumberjack but nobody believes that he can do it. They all point and laugh at him and say neiner neiner you�re too little to be a lumberjack, but he does it anyway and he turns out to be the best lumberjack of all. I think I�ll call him Hugo. Then I could make a song that goes something like...
�Hugo you�re not huge-o but you can still be a darn good lumberjack...�
Pretty catchy eh? Muah ha ha. I�m a genius. Yes indeedy.
Ok, so it�s not nearly as brilliant as the crime fighting ballet dancer called the Nutcracker but still! I�d go see that movie. Only if I made it though, because anyone else would just screw it up. Bastards.
Also driving around today I realize that there is far too much useless construction in this city. I think everybody�s just bored because they can�t figure out what to do about the traffic problem so they just make it look like they�re trying by making a bunch of crazy non-English speaking men do construction work all over the place.
The most annoying thing about driving in construction, besides the traffic and the slowness, is having to restrain myself from hitting the cones. I just have to repeat to myself over and over...Don�t hit the cones Alli, don�t hit the cones...They never did anything to you...Wait, maybe they did. Even if they didn't they still look so knock-over-able. All orange and springy...
It�s all those damn driving video games that let me indulge myself and knock them over. Plus they always made cool sounds when you did it. I wonder if it�s like that in real life...Someday...
The night before last I was doing something or other on the computer and all of a sudden I smelled a fire. It smelled like someone was burning something in their yard. Which, even though we live in the dry dry desert, is really not that uncommon. It wouldn�t go away though so I got curious. After a couple of hours I went outside to look around and thought I could vaguely make out a couple of plumes of smoke on the mountain. I wasn't sure though, it was really hard to make out. I kept trying to zoom in on it but I keep forgetting I don't have super powers yet. Damn.
Then at the dentist I saw it all clear and stuff and heard that yes, there was in fact a big forest fire on Mt Lemon. I swear, these happen every year. How pesky. Has Smoky the Bear meant nothing to you people?!
Today though I swear, it looked like a volcano was exploding, I don�t think I�ve ever seen that much smoke from a mountain fire. I indulged myself and pretended there was a volcano and looked all panicked at everyone that drove by trying to point out the mountain to them and mouth: "Run for your lives!"
I�m so easily entertained.
All this doing stuff sucks. I start work this next Monday. How horrible is that? Every time I�m lounging around doing nothing I can�t help but think this is so my calling in life. I�m so good at this...I should do this for a living.
Holy shit. (By the by, I�ve been meaning to rant, where the hell did that saying come from? Since when is shit holy?) 1 day!!! 1 FREAKING DAY!!!
Seriously, I never thought we�d make it this far. I never thought it'd be this close or that�d it'd actually get here. I thought by now the apocalypse would�ve come or they would�ve changed their minds and been all: �Just kidding! You have to wait 50 more years. Think of it as a solar eclipse kinda thing.�
Maybe I�m still speaking too soon though. Who knows the world could end at any moment. If I see those four horsemen though I�m knocking one of them off, stealing their horse and heading straight for whatever warehouse they�re keeping them locked in. Then, while all the other horrible stuff is going down, earthquakes, floods, famine, whatever I�ll be in my inner tube reading the book.
End of the world schmend of the world.